... and I feel a little bit peeved"
Or so the song goes, well something like that. If you've missed it in the news at somepoint on Wednesday they are due to set off the Large Hadron Collider, what has been described as the worlds most expensive physuics experiment.
What it boils down to, is that they have built a 27 kilometre circular tunnel, under the alps, around which they are going to fire particles at near the speed of light, and when they collide they will see what happens.
Now in my day of studying (and failing) physics GCSE, when we had to do our coursework for the year we'd drop an apple out of a tree and draw a picture of Newton underneath, or go slamming at a punk gig to show the effects of brownian motion (see I remembered something).
In comparison, the large Hadron Collider is aiming to recreate what happened a billionth of a second after the big bang.
Aiming quite high then. But at a cost of 5billion pounds, you'd have to make some pretty impressive claims to the people funding it.
The problem with the Large Hadron Collider and recreating the aftermath of the big bang, is the view from some quarters that a series of mini black holes will be created, we'll be flooded in dark matter and the whole of Life, The Universe and Everything will be sucked inside out, creating a new universe and erasing ours.
I heard this topic being discussed on the radio with the author of the saftey report for the LHC, who pointed we're perfectly safe, and the world would not be ending. He was then quized by the DJ's to explain what exactly the experiment was, and to make it as understandable to a 7am audience.
He went through much of what I've said above, and as all good investigative journalists should he was pressed as to what happened before the "billionth of a second after the big bang", and even what happened before the big bang.
The scientist pointed out that he couldn't, and that he wasn't really the right person to ask.
As all good radio hosts should do, the question was put out to the general public to answer what happened just before the big bang.
A raft of pretty obvious answers flooded in, mainly surround God, and religion, but I was pleased that the exact answer that I was thinking eventually made it on the airwaves.
"Q:What happened imediately before the Big Bang? A:A roomful of scientists in another universe were stood around a LHC saying - 'No, it's perfectly safe' before throwing a big lever and kickstarting the universe"
I love the Douglas Adams feel to this answer. The universe restarting every couple of billion years when a race gets to the level where they are able to build giant science experiments under the hills that lok like the lair of a James Bond baddie.
It is also worth pointing out, another reason for the end of the world is the sudden turn of events at Man City.
We are bouth by Arab billionaires, we spend 32million pound on a Brazilian striker, everything looks rosey for the first time in my life time... and the world ends.
Typical. If it were announced that United were about to be thrown out of the league for financial irregularities then I would know for certain that the universe had in fact turned inside out!
p.s. If you are reading this after 10/09 - then we're all okay !
