For the Love of Ross!

Having just finished watching the tonight's "Tonight with Jonathan Ross" or Friday night, or whatever it's currently called I just had to write in honour of the great man. The man who I guess to some extent started the whole celebrity thing - in the sense of people who are famous for being famous.

Now that sounds really nasty about him, and as I say I really do like Rossie, but - and I think he would be the first to agree with me - what is his actual talent - and is that what he is famous for?

He's not really a comedian, he certainly can't act, and his singing voice isn't up to much. Okay he holds a chat show together pretty well and does the odd award ceremony but... why do we love him so.

As edgy as his chat show originally was, it's now all a but formulaic. A safe Hollywood star, another TV presenter releasing some merchandise that needs promoting, or one of his mates.

I think the mates phenonemum on the Jonathan Ross show is annoying, yet one of its funniest items. You know when the series is beginning to wear thin, normally about 3 or 4 into a run, when all the big stars willing to be ridiculed have been used up, and the really big stars are being saved for Christmas.

Suddenly, with nothing to promote Dale Winton turns up, or Ricky Gervais, or Trinny and Susannah, or tonight's victim, Michael Ball. All clearly mates of Rossies, and their to make up the numbers ... in the nicest possible way. I mean Ball, bless him, was just pure cannon fodder for Jonathan to reel of gag after gag, and he just sat there pretending to laugh whilst probably not really understanding them all.

Ricky Gervais is normally good at pretending he is a stranger to the interviewer, until they mention playing tennis together, or swapping pets.This side of the show, and Jonathan Ross in particular is, I believe, the true clue to his popularity.

It's the English plucky amateurish of him. The bumbling English Gentleman, as mentioned above, not very good at anyone thing (Not withstanding his Comic and Film knowledge) but willing to give it a good go. This really seems to extend to his private(ish) life which he loves to recount on the programme.

Can you imagine Parkinson showing photos of how he had dressed up his dog the week before? Or Micheal Aspel recounting how he sent off for his very own Spider-man outfit?

The other side I like about his Friday night programme, is how it always hits you unawares. When it is guests you are looking forward to, it often ends up as a damp squib. When it's people you've (Well I've) never heard of, it's normally a scream.

Case in point, Peter Kay, at the height of his powers - not very funny. Johnny Vegas, drunk with Jim Carey or Ian Mckellan - absolutely priceless. n.b. the picture at the top of this blog came up when I google image searched on "Cheesey Chat Show". Yes - I was confused as well.

Before I sign off, I'd like to throw a cracking idea at the TV planners for a future chat show.

HRH The Duke of Edinburgh.

Can you image? It would be awesome, for most of the points above, plus just to See him getting his foot in his mouth would be great.

I Baggsey being his first guest!

Film 95

Having recently gotten hold of a copy of the new(ish) version of the King Kong Movie, I appear to have shown my true, somewhat grumpy, old man credentials.

A friend at work had been pushing me to watch, as he considered it to be a great film and as I am quite a Peter Jackson fan - from Bad Taste through to the Lord Of The Rings, I was looking forward to it.

I suppose I can blame the "pressures" of fatherhood - and general sleep deprivation - along with Peter Jackson insisting on making incredibly long films, to the fact I ended up having to watch it over two nights.

The work colleague was a little concerned at me not having the stamina to manage it in a single sitting - not to mention the fact I hadn't even seen the all new Kong! But he knew the second half with its great host of dinosaurs and insects and giant bats, not to mention the whole climatic building climbing airplane smashing finale.

And it was great. Really good, and impressive , and well, quite long. I was definitely nodding. I knew I had to get up early, and hadn't had much sleep the night before.

Once he'd got up the tower and he was throwing punches at the bi-planes, I was just willing him to get a move on, take a jump and hit the deck - allowing me to get to bed. Just a couple of years ago I'd have mocked someone for saying that! I guess I really am getting old.

Another thing that I noticed - what is it with long films? Why do they always have loads of slow motion bits? (Braveheart springs to mind...) Surely they cut out the slow motion and we could all go home a bit quicker. As to Kong - I'm not even going to mention the ice rink scene.

I am definitely with Mark Kermode point, which I think was in turn quoted from Tony Scott - There isn't a film in the world which wouldn't be improved by losing half an hour and adding an exploding helicopter.

Look me in the eye and tell me that Gone with the Wind, or Citizen Kane wouldn't benefit?

I mentioned that I would be writing about my experiences of King Kong in this blog tonight, and I even got mocked for that - mentioning how it would be like watching Film 2005! So grumpy old man I guess I will have to stay, only watching films on DVD when they are under a fiver!

Anyway, it's getting late, I'm off to find my pipe and slippers!

I'm Holding Out For a Hero...

I recently had the pleasure of watching Superman Returns, of which the highpoint was Kevin Spacey, but came away feeling a little cheated. (Here's my grumpy old man bit...)

It was a bit lame really. I guess they were just "Re-invigorating the Franchise" or some such, but it really just made me want to watch the original. (I know I said Kevin Spacey was good... but Gene Hackman was better) It didn't really do anything new or interesting.

I don't want to just pick on this film, when it seems to me that the whole superhero film genre has gone a little flat. They just re-hash old comics - there seems a distinct lack of new heroes.

Now the X-Men films were okay, and the Incredible Hulk was given less credit than I think it deserved, and from all I've heard the Fantastic four film was pretty poor. Spider-man was okay, but by number three I was yawning pretty openly.

I suppose I've got the Wonder Woman film to look forward to if it ever gets made - but I cannot imagine anyone (especially the names mentioned already for the lead role) get anywhere close to Lynda Carter.

There was something, I don't know, somewhat maternal about her. I know the 21st century version will just be some skinny wannabee model, all pouting and big hair.

I digress.

I think the 21st century needs some new superheroes - and I don't mean the overpaid prima donna footballers or "celebrities". I want some new heroes to fit the times we live in - not old ones rehashed with radioactive spiders replaced by genetically modified ones.

Mystery Men from a few years ago was a valiant effort with Mr Furious, Captain Amazing and The Shoveler, but I think more could be done to reflect where we are at within society today.

Whilst researching this piece I came across another blog reporting a new reality TV programme - "WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPER-HERO", fronted or developed or something by Stan Lee. It shows promise, but I imagine it will just be some big brother type letdown.

More importantly, I feel we need to think about a new raft of baddies. I don't want to see Lex Luthor, The Joker, or Doc Octupus, I want Global Warming Man, Hurricane Petula and her Underground Lair or WMD Wanda (Where did she hide them) or Doc Shipman (oops that one slipped out)

Who would we have fight these guys and gals of awesome evil destructiveness? Who should we and our children be emulating to stand up for the hope, respect and the American way?

With a nod to the past, I think the new hero to look up to must be Tron Guy.

You must all click here to see his website

I can honestly say, before I get up in the morning, go to work or take on a particularly arduous task, I ask myself "What would Tron Guy do?"

(It normally starts by checking on my server and getting out my wife's sewing machine and making an outfit...)