I've been meaning to post some stuff up here for so long about my wonderful wife Beth. In so many ways I really do think there is nobody like her in the world.
One are in which she excels is in suffering fools far more than she should (maybe that's why she married me)
An example of this is the lengths she will go to with people phoning to sell us stuff. Not all the times, but if she is in the mood, she will engage them truthfully and at length answering their questions until they normally give up when they realise we have no money.
This was beaten when she was "accosted" in the streets of Sale by a Mormon.
"Would you like to talk about Jesus?" he asked,
"No, sorry I'm in a bit of a rush," and she continued on her way.
50 yards further on, she is stopped again by another chap in matching white shirt and black suit, "Would you like to talk about Jesus?", quick as a flash - "Lucky you should ask, but there's a guy back there wanting to talk about God!"
By the time he realised that Beth meant his fellow Morman, she was long gone.
This was surpased this week when she was stopped by a someone from Greenpeace.
The conversation went something like this...
GREENPEACE:Would you like to donate some money to help save the whales?
BETH: Not really, I think the welsh should be able to look after themselves.
GP(Unfazed): I notice you have a young family?
(No fooling this guy as Beth was pushing Eddy in his push chair)
GP: Would you like them to enjoy sea food when they grow up?
BETH(Now a little intrigued): I guess so...
GP: Well, are you aware that in the over fishing of fish such as Tuna, their stocks are going to be depleated, and as a side affect the number of Dolphins and whales caught in the nets is leading them to extinction.
BETH: And where do I come in to this?
GP: By donating £2 a month it will enable us to cut down on the over fishing and help make safer nets to stop the wrong fish being caught.
BETH: and what happens to the Whales and Dolphins?
GP: Well, they're going to be extinct and -
BETH: But what actually happens to the carcasses of the Whales and Dolphins?
GP: Well, err, I erm guess they're or dumped, anyway, that's not the point...
BETH: Well, I think it is really. Why don't we eat the Dolphins and Whales?
GP:(Shocked) Eat... Flipper?
BETH: It seems a double waste that once they've been caught and killed we just dump the bodies. surely if we ate all that we caught, then we wouldn't need to overfish the other species. Why don't we save the cod? Whales are taking up more ocean than they are - doesn't really seem fair.
By this point the Greenpeace chap was backing away clutching his clipboard.
I believe they are putting up posters of my wife around Sale, warning street vendors not to talk to her...
