It's Like Crack Cocaine...

... or so I am led to believe, having never really taken anything much stronger than 400mg Ibuprofams (Which are rather good, and mind altering)

Having meandered round the office feeling older and older, and all the "kids" with their ipods and Internet / multi-media playing / photo taking / all singing all dancing / even does the washing up mobile phones, I couldn't help but overhear them going on about this "Face book" thing.

My instant reaction, my Luddite views kicking in, was to ignore it and hope it would go away. Next step was to ban it, but when my age peers started going on about it I knew I could ignore it no longer.

I signed up.

Three days in, and I can safely say it is absolute crap.

And I just cannot leave it alone. I swear almost every minute since I signed up I've been on. Looking, searching delving, moseying about. Putting in random names and groups just to see what comes up, looking at endless pictures of slightly drunk people huddled together in bars.

I find myself pleased when I come across someone I went to school with 15 years ago, and asking them to "Be my friend". I wouldn't even recognise these people if I walked past them in the street - and if I did I would look away and pretend to not see them.

THERE IS A REASON I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM SINCE SCHOOL!

I may be stating the obvious, but it is just Friends re-united, without the blue rinse brigade.

Since I started writing this blog I've been back about 6 times to check if any of my "friends" are logged on - or if anyone has updated my "Wall".

In fact, back in a minute...

...Nope, no one has said anything... although I've got 28 friends now! (I then look at the unpopular smelly acne laden kid from school and he's got 23 thousand....hhmmm)

Every time I see the heading " What are you doing at the moment" I just want to type "Looking at face book" - It's like the 21st century equivalent of "Sex - Yes Please!!!!" filled in on random forms.

My only problem which I know will happen is that I will spend every minute on it now... and then realise that there is just tumbleweed going across my screen and I'll drift away.

And then something dead important will happen, and I'll miss it!

Oh well, I guess I might look as often as I update my blog!

Back to face book now!

National Outrage

I was at work today, and I had a right rant about something. If I say so myself it was particuarly witty and humorous - to the extent I had Mitesh and Carl in stitches (Yes I know they sort of work for me and aim to please, but even so.)

Anyway - as I was doing my little bit of stand up it flashed through my mind how this would make a great blog entry. I agree it was all part manager, part entertainer, but it did have that certain something to have you all chuckling at your keyboards.

The only problem is, that being another year older since my last blog, my mind is ever more befuddled, and I've completely forgotten what it was. I must admit I even now sit around the office telling the youngsters how great things used to be.

We even debated Tufty badges. If you are the right age to know what I mean you will even know be rubbing an imaginary spot on your chest...

Anyway what to write on my blog. As my dodgy geriatric brain continues to lose it I guess I'll have to wade in on the Brand / Ross / Sachs debacle that is threatening to engulf the world.

It is in serious danger of overshadowing the economic problems of the world, the American presidential election, not to mention the iminent destruction of the universe due to the LHC in the alps (see previous blog).

At the heart of all this moral outrage whipped up by the daily mail and other equally useless media outlets is a selection of somewhat bawdy messages left on Andrew Sach's ansaphone by Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross.

I haven't heard the recording, and don't really feel the need to (See - I too can have an opinion on something I know nothing about). The one question which I wanted answering was for me the only one that matters in issues of taste and decency where humour is concerned;

Was it funny or not? No one seems to have actually answered this highly relevant point (Apart from my good lady wife Beth who was in hysterics, who normally just laughs at people slipping on banana skins.)

As far as comedy is concerned that is all that matters to me. Chubby Brown or Bernard Manning, two comedians for whom I have quite a dislike, partially because I do not agree with their views on the world, but primarily because they just aren't funny.

But back to Ross and Brand, I must admit now that I think about it, that I am actually totally shocked and upset at the whole affair. Not least the fact that Andrew Sachs didn't seem all that bothered, or that his Granddaughter was so unhappy at the invasion of her privacy that she felt impelled to imediately sell her story to the Sun newspaper.

No. The fact that all this filth was broadcast on Radio 2. Not an independant station, or the "Kidz" orientated radio 1 but aunties favourite Radio 2. Home to Terry Wogan and Johnie Walker.

What is the world coming to? I 'm going to retune my radio to the sedate world of Radio 3, retire to my bath chair, and lay out banana skins on the pavement in front of the post office on pension day to keep the wife amused.