Am I a Celebrity Yet ?

As I was driving home from work, I was wondering what to "Blog" tonight to the world in general (Wow it's scarey how quickly you pick up on the lingo!) and I thought I should stop moaning so much or the whole site is just going to turn into one of those "Grumpy Old Men" things (Turning you say...)

They were reviewing the weeks TV (on the radio - as you do) and were being particuarly scathing about the new Jamie Oliver vehicle. They you go I thought, time to sharpen my knives.

See, I didn't want to moan, I was going to talk about how optomistic I was about the new football season, or about some of my other writing, or the band I used to play in. But these thoughts and opinions on celebrity chefs entered, unbidden into my head.

They were saying how the program was bland, and all in a bit cliched. It was just Oliver doing Oliver. Ideas flickered about, I just didn't think they were trying. I could think of far worse stuff, and why stick with Oliver? Stein, Ramsey, Delia, James Martin they all deserve a bit of a kicking. What is the world coming to when a chef is celebrity? And with every new chef on the block, or new series for the old hands they have to come up with a new angle.

Cooking in a Boat, Steaming with sticks and stones, pot roasts up a mountain, Korean delicacies.

I got home, and started looking for images to keep up the interest in my witterings, a few good ones came up including the rather nice one of Jamie at the top. Now as well as the smug little grinning faces of these "celebrities" there were various pictures of the food they'd created.

I was a little hungry at the time and my stomach was begining to rumble, and I got to thinking. These celebrity chefs are pretty good at knocking up a couple of meals. Most of them have actually got a bit of talent, why pick on them?

Lets drop the chef and just have a go at celebrity, or the so called celebrities who are famous for, well being celebrities?

Top of the celebrity for celebrities sake pile must Peter Andre and Katie Price aka Jordan.

Here I have another dilema. Don't get me wrong, Jordan I really dislike. She epitomises everything dumb about the human race and why we deserve to be wiped of the face of teh planet and replaced by insects.

But Peter, what can I say. Pretty talentless, pretty dimwitted. But I can't help but feel he seems quite a nice guy. I think you could have a nice pint with him down the pub. Added to this he's pretty muscly - just imagine if you had a chest of drawers to move or something ? He'd be willing and able! What can I say, a bit of a perfect mate.

So maybe I have the answer to my celebrity dilema. When I get my, I don't "I'm a celebrity get me a Haircut" programme or something, I could just hang out with Peter whilst bitter twisted TV critics (who can only get work on the radio) slag me off!

See, I said I 'd make this a nice post today ! Now chuck me another slice of dog Jamie my stomachs rumbling again.