The Funniest Joke in the World EVER (part 4)

I've realised something even more difficult than finding the time to write this blog - and it isn't thinking of a different topic to write about. It's the weight of expectation from the feedback I've received so far. After people I speak to realise that I am actually Phil Handford (I'm normally called Paul - a long story...), it's the fact they say "Yeah, your blogs pretty funny."

A nice compliment, and it's good to know I am keeping people entertained...but, I didn't particularly intend the blog to be funny - not that I mind.

The problem is that now as well as having to get round to doing it, and thinking of something interesting to say, I feel my public demands of me to be amusing.

One simple solution as this image proves, is to dress as a pirate and stand about menacingly. This is certain to either make people laugh, or intimidate them enough to leave you alone (maybe after even emptying their pockets)

Alternatively, just every now and then, I could share with you a joke. Go straight for the humour, don't worry about the interest levels - I'll be chatting about the media again tomorrow, or my dodgy finds on the Internet. But today, let's just go for a gag.

Before I begin, and to raise the stakes somewhat, I'd like to point out that this is the funniest joke in the world. Ever.

A mouse walks into a music shop, and looks up at the shopkeeper.

"Hello Mr Shopkeeper, I'd like to buy a mouth Organ please."

The shopkeeper looks down at the mouse and replies,

"That's a coincidence, you're the second mouse we've had in here today to buy a mouth organ"

The mouse replies -

Before I continue to the punchline, I'd like to speak a little about the joys of Fatherhood. Things change in you that you never imagined, things you always swore wouldn't. For starters you start tutting at swearing in songs and knowing when to turn the volume down, you check the age certificate on films, and most importantly, you get a special licence for telling really, really, poor jokes.

A favourite I remember hearing a dad tell his 10 year old son and friend in the Toyshop in which I used to work -

"What's the difference between a Bison and a Buffalo?

-You can't wash your hands in a buffalo."

The friend just looked embarrassed, the son groaned at his dad, who smiled proudly, and I fell about laughing. I knew then, that I couldn't wait to be a dad.

Yes I know it's pretty poor, and not really funny, and I groaned as much as the boy in the shop did when my dad would tell jokes, but... they are very satisfying to share.

Now then, do you want to hear the mouse punchline (go on scroll up a bit to double check before you answer thast) or do you want me to get my cutlass out and say "Yaaarrgggh"?

Oh all right.

"That'll be our Monica"

See you tomorrow.